“He reads the longings of our hearts; nothing can be hidden from Him; what we cannot tell to Him He perfectly understands.”-The Treasury of David
This is my God.
When I read Psalm 38 on Monday, I asked the Lord to open my eyes to see what He wanted me to share. I’m extremely visual, a total right-brainer and so when verse 9 was the only one highlighted in a group of Scriptures, I took that as my cue.
“Lord, all my desire is before You; and my sighing is not hidden from You.” Psalm 38:9
Have you ever kept something inside for so long knowing that if you didn’t release the words in the next second, your heart might explode? So you blurt out words, longings, desires, groans and suddenly waves of emotions surround you. That is confession.
Don’t you feel better when you make a confession? I think of those feelings I had when I confessed Jesus to be The LORD of my life. Freedom. I confessed my sin to Him. Peace. I confessed that I couldn’t be, do or say anything without His hand upon me. Strength.
I love that I don’t have to hide from God. Even if I wanted to. Even when I pretend He’s not watching me “right now.” He is. His eyes roam the earth looking for a heart that’s fully committed to him.
The Lord is not unfamiliar with our ways. We can’t keep anything from you nor does He want us to. We are asked by our Holy Father to lay it all out: our secrets, fears, anxieties, sins. Yes, those are the things I’m aware of. So what happens to those things I am not prone to share because of fear?
What do I do with my longings and the desires of my heart?
Naturally, I hide them. I can’t seem to find the words to utter. I’m all, “O Lord, You know.”
Yes, yes He does but I keep those words inside because I feel unworthy; almost like, ‘Did You give me this desire or am I making it up?’ And saying the desires of my heart out loud almost feels like when you say something you shouldn’t have and then can’t take back those words.
And then it hits me. It’s so obvious and simple that I’m almost embarrassed to admit it.
It’s funny how my one word for 2014 is delight and it’s taken me almost three months to realize a Scripture that was placed in my heart last November. I recall now that in January I was going to write about why that word is so significant but I let fear keep those words locked up tight inside.
“Take delight in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4
The desires I have come from God; so when I remind myself of that, I’m not sure why I try to hide them. When all is before Him and nothing is hidden from Him, why do I still hide?
I remind myself that my Heavenly Father wants me. He wants to hear the words that are in my heart, the ones that I am so afraid to share. Those are the words He wants to come out of my mouth.
Even though God already knows everything; He still wants me to use my words and tell Him. He knows my heartaches, shortcomings, wants, fears, and yes, my desires. We have to give Him the whole truth, nothing but the truth, so help us God.
We can speak openly and freely, sharing the whole story with Him. He won’t expose us but will wrap us up in His arms of love and He will listen. John Gill writes, “It is His delight to hear.”
So I confess to Him:
Lord, I want to be a writer.
The thought of writing about Jesus and for Jesus makes my blissfully giddy. God wants to see our faces light up, our souls renewed and refreshed. He takes joy when we delight in Him. I remember that He created me.
He created you.
What are the desires and longings of your heart? Will you let Him fulfill them?
Don’t rob Jesus of the joy of giving you your hearts desire by keeping silent. I let fear rob me of writing on my blog for months. Remind yourself that nothing is hidden from Him.
Say what you need to say.
“If God delights to fulfill our desires, let us not be slack in desiring.”-Spurgeon