Monday, September 22, 2014

I Want God

It arrived on a hot July afternoon just after I arrived home from a day at the beach.

When I saw the package in my mail box, I literally had to make myself not jump up and down in front of my neighbor's house. Melissa, walk back to your house calmly and girlie squeal when you get inside. That's what I told myself. :)

I immediately rip open the envelope and flip to the back of the book and I read the last part of the last sentence that says, "...and how to find our way back to the God we want most." 


See, The Lord knows exactly what we need and when we need it. He's kinda amazing like that.

Something you may or may not know about me, but I absolutely love reading the book thank-yous and dedications. It's when I get to see a different side of the author. I think of it as a picture of their heart. The names of complete strangers to me, but so precious to Lisa and I instantly think of people I would list if ever I was given the opportunity to write.

More tears.

I spend the rest of my Friday with my new book, my red pen, my bright yellow highlighter, and my wide-ruled loose leaf notebook paper and I am ready to dive in. I have been w a i t i n g for Lisa to write another book. I mean, her book, w(hole) messed me up in the best way so as you can imagine I counted down the days until I received this baby.  Perhaps, I should learn patience. But God saw fit to get this new book into my hands before the October 1st release date. Hallelu!

The highlighter quickly comes out on page eight.

Hello, introduction.

Allow me to quote her, "We need more of God, but we do not really want Him. The truth is, until the want matches the need, nothing will ever change." 

And I was hooked.

I guess I've never looked at it that way before. I always need God to help me. I always need God to guide me. I always need God to go before me. But do I want Him?

Like r e a l l y want Him?

I keep reading.

Through the course of this book, Lisa shares about wanting God more. More than what?

More than Comfort. More than Logic and Reason. More than Popularity. More than Blessing. And finally she shares about wanting God most.

This isn't about trying harder. I like those words because I sort of fall into that group. I feel like if I can just try harder, everything will be fine. No, the theme of this book is wanting God more than anything else.

Like water to a thirsty soul, are her words to me. I say me because I feel like she wrote this book for me....either that or she has a copy of my journal. Smile. I am so thankful to authors who can put into words things that are on their heart in such a beautiful way.  Lisa does it extremely well in this book.

As a result of reading, I begin asking myself hard questions. What can I give up? Is there anything I want more than God? Because when we give up something we are doing so to make room for what we really want.


I could go on and on but I don't want to give anymore away about this wonderful book. It seriously challenged me to examine my heart to see if I truly have a Christ-first heart. It is challenging me still to remember when I fell in love with Him... to remember why. Oh, it is super important to remember those things. The landmarks of our saving faith journey.

Side note: I asked the Lord on July 19, 2014 to help me remember. You can see the neat way it all tied together on my Instagram here.

And slowly but surely He is helping me remember. He is leading me on a narrow path to truly want Him most. For so long I thought I knew what I wanted. And I humbly submit, that I was wrong.

But in His gentle Jesus way, He is showing me that it's Him. He's the One I've always wanted and He's ever faithful to stay beside me as I take the long road home.

"What do you want?" John 1:38

I pray its Jesus.

I want Jesus. All of Jesus. And nothing but Jesus.

So help me God.


*PS: If you are interested, I wrote a review on Amazon giving the book five out of five stars. I hope you'll go ahead and pre-ordered yourself a copy here.

Jesus is worth the time it takes to read this short book. You'll be so glad you did.

God's best to you!