I just finished reading Emily P. Freeman's latest book, "A Million Little Ways". It was a word in due season for me. In the last chapter she talked a lot about fear. I've been fearful for a while now and for a lot of different reasons. I have been using fear to keep me from doing things that I love (like writing on my blog) for fear of what others might say, think and feel.
On page 194 she writes, "Fear will be a threat whenever you set out to pursue a desire that means something to you." I have been pondering that statement for the better part of a week now. I know God has placed within me a desire to write and teach what He reveals to me in His Word. I say that not because I think I know it all (because I don't) but I believe that I have the heart of a teacher who always wants to share what I am learning. I hope that makes sense.
She shares in her book this quote from Michael Card that comes from his book "Scribbling in the Sand": "Artists in medieval times did not sign their work. It never occurred to them to do so... Their art was a gift meant to point away from themselves and toward the God who gave it. They were safely hidden in Christ, free from the tyranny of the self. They knew the great truth that they were nothing more and nothing less than children of a great King who has been entrusted with a sacred task: to win praise for their Lord. Knowing who we are in the hiddenness of humility. It is believing that the giftedness we may indeed possess is not of our own making, that the purpose of its being is not that we might gain attention or praise for ourselves, but that we might respond ingratitude with our best creative effort to win the praise for the One who first gave the gift." (pg. 202)
I wanted to use that quote on my blog because it reveals a picture of my heart. I don't want this blog to be about me. I want to use it as a platform to share my love for Jesus and why loving and serving Him wholeheartedly has given me a glimpse into what wholeness looks like. I will be completely whole when I see Him one day in Heaven. Amen. I want to write here and share the greatness of my God. I just stopped writing last fall out of fear and I'm wrong. Fear doesn't bring honor and glory to Jesus.
Emily writes, "Reject your fear of scarcity, of sharing and competition. Instead, delight us with what you have to offer. Offer yourself as you are, not as you wish you were. The more we see you, the more we'll see ourselves." (pg. 203)
So this. This blog is my offering to my tens of readers. It's not about the number of people that read or comment or just blog-stalk. This blog is about what Jesus means to me and I'm sorry that I let fear get in the way of that; fear of what I share being laughed at or taken out of context or for plain old competition (which destroys many things). Lord, help. This blog isn't a fancy designed blog that cost me lots of money because I just can't swing that right now. This is a free blog and I'm ok with that. I need to stop hiding.
When I read that SheReadsTruth www.shereadstruth.com is looking for guest writers each Friday through the Lent season, I knew this was the push I needed to just.do.it. I told the Lord that I would write for Him and about Him. I am looking forward to Friday when I publish my devotional on Psalm 130. I hope you will come back and see a picture of my heart for the Lord and His Word.
Offering myself as I am,