My Great Privilege

                                                                           Image Credit

On June 3, 2015,  I was enjoying communion with the Lord, writing down things He was placing on my heart....words like purpose...will...loyalty...teach...yield. I began sifting through my stack of books looking for the Morning & Evening devotional by Charles Spurgeon. I opened to this:

"These were the potters who lived there in the king's service." 1 Chronicles 4:23 ESV

Something clicked within my spirit and I quickly wrote down, "new blog post idea!" and that started my study route for the last nine days. Seeing the words, "in the king's service" pricked my heart so deeply, I took it as a sign from God to pursue this Scripture further. I read everything I could find on it.

"Potters were among the ranks of manual workers, but the king needed potters, and therefore they were elevated to royal service, although the material upon which they worked was nothing by clay. In the same way we also may be engaged in the most menial part of the Lord's work, but it is a great privilege to do anything for the King..." Spurgeon

Last month I received a phone call from my good friend Michelle asking if I would be willing to be part of her content team for She Works His Way a place of "encouragement for working women to find balance in life through total surrender to Jesus". 

I listened.

News flash! I had been praying for months for opportunities to write with purpose and God gave me the gift of writing a 40 day devotional for my church. Although, I should confess that after I wrote day one I tried backing out. I contacted the church and told them they had the wrong person...that I only respond to devotionals, not write them. They didn't let me off the hook and told me to keep going and to use my God-given gifts.  I was totally blown away by that. And so I did and it was a tremendous blessing in my life.

Here He is again, five months later, hand-delivering me an opportunity to work with Michelle and I respond this way:

" I am humbled and honored that you would think of me but you have the wrong person.... I don't really work."

I do that all the time. I tell people, "I'm just a homeschooling mom"....like I have no value or He can't use me in my current life stage....but in Him I am more than that.  I truly am grateful for the reminder that it is a great privilege to do anything for the King. 

Michelle laughed and told me at length that I do work, that the Lord was already using me and in her inspiring way she encouraged me to pray about it. That was a Friday afternoon. 

Over the weekend I prayed, confessed my sin of pride and even walked away from something I love, something good, to work on heart things and to pursue God alone. By that following Monday I became part of her team.

Psalm 100:5 says, "Let the whole world know what He has done!" Just like the king needed the potters, the Lord has need of me right where I am. The Lord has need of you, too.

The potter's lived there in the king's service. So it got me thinking. The King needs me and has asked me to make myself available to Him so He can use me in the best way He sees fit.

I want Him to use me as an instrument to proclaim His message in every place He has me. Am I serving my husband in the King's service? Am I educating my boys in the King's service? Am I writing in the King's service? Am I working my two part-time jobs in the King's service? Because that's what I want to do....to serve wholeheartedly and work for Him with enthusiasm. (Ephesians 6:7)

"There is no ideal place for us to serve God except the place He sets us down. We are not to run from it on a whim or sudden notion, but we should serve the Lord in it by being a blessing to those among whom we live." Spurgeon

I have been set down in my home, by God, to be a blessing to those around me. I've been given opportunities to write from home, to teach, encourage and equip women who also want to be a reflection of the Lord in the places where He has them.

I saw a quote on Pinterest and I'm not sure who came up with it, but I love it. It says, "You become like the 5 people you spend the most time with. Choose carefully." 

I am an early riser and I give Him the first part of my day. As I've done that consistently, He's been so dear to me....showing me things about Himself in fresh and exciting ways. This time ignites my creativity, my passion for the things of God and it helps me push past my feelings of fear and inadequacy. 

"Write those things I say to you, write and hold back nothing of all I shall say to you." 
Frances J. Roberts, Come Away My Beloved

This is my great privilege...my opportunity to demonstrate and display the love of Jesus with the words I write whether here on my blog or elsewhere. I know that I can't write in my own strength and for my own glory...it never works out.  Total surrender is a process for sure, but I know that He will be with me the entire way.  He is guiding me on this new path, a path that I can trust Him on.

"Dwell with the King and do His work, and when He writes His chronicles, your name shall be recorded." Spurgeon

Lord, I want to soar in the service of You, My Master.

xo

For God

                                                                             Yes He is!


I recently listened to Lara Casey give a heart to heart talk about creativity and her struggles with comparison, jealousy and envy. She is the real deal and my heart was immediately drawn to her. As soon as she sat down and opened her mouth to speak, the tears welled up in my tired blue eyes. It was late last Wednesday night as I began watching her video. She said, "Your creative gifts? They mean something. Your creative gifts were given to you by God for God." Hello, waterworks.

I quickly scratched a few notes in my hot pink and gold polka dot Greenroom journal and called it a night. I  needed to let what I had heard marinate for a while. Fast forward to 5 o'clock the next morning when I opened up my prayer journal and began writing down my prayer. Here is part of it:

"...Thank You for using Lara Casey...You are creative, You made me creative for Your glory, not mine. What are the motivations of my heart? I repent that yes, I wanted to write to make a name for myself so I could feel important, like I mattered and have value. I don't think I've ever admitted that I craved notoriety.... I surrender all of my wrong motives to Your Lordship...I want to walk in Your light of life. Help me out of the dark places of envy, jealousy, comparison, pride, anger...If I am to write, release the words...open my eyes...tell the story for me...and let it all be for Your glory....

Man, it is gut wrenching to be so vulnerable but I share it in hopes that someone will be encouraged as I was when Lara shared her story. Shame dwells in secrecy and I've lived in that arena for a minute.

After my prayer time, I plug in my ear buds and listen to Pastor Steven while I fast walk around the track by my house. He's preaching about stretch marks, making me laugh out loud and amen at the same time. In the midst of hearing him share, I hear the Lord ask me to write this blog post. I am fired up to share because the truth sets people free, right? Funny though, on my walk home after the podcast ended and I was alone with my thoughts, I was like "No, Lord. I don't think I can." When will I ever learn? Smile. And He said to me, "Yes, you can. I know you." 

I get home all sweaty and grab a pen and paper and I take down the definition of 'notoriety' and words related to it...and I see the word 'influence'.  The definition of notoriety has thrown me off because it means the character of being notorious or widely known. Light bulb moment: I don't want notoriety but rather influence which is the action or process of producing effects on the actions, behavior, opinions of others. My desire is to display Jesus Christ in my everyday life in a way that makes Him attractive to others.

I want the creativity that God has given me to be used for God. That's the biggest takeaway that I received from Lara. It was a timely word for me. And as God is graciously opening doors for me,  I pray Psalm 19:14 repeatedly. And I knew I needed to be honest and share some of the dark places of my heart while I'm walking the road less traveled.

The goal of any writing I do, the way I live, the words I use, the motivations of my heart, how I treat my husband and children is for His glory, not mine. Can I brag about how awesome my God is?

In the midst of all my internal chaos, He gently reminds me of something that I've been seeing over and over again as I'm working through Captivating by John & Stasi Eldredge. He says, "Melissa, I see you. I know you." 

As fast as I can I say Thank You Jesus and begin typing the word 'know' in Google and find all the information on what it means. I read every definition, I take down Scripture after Scripture with that word in it, I find meaningful quotes about being known, and when I'm finished I find I have SEVEN pages of notes on wide-ruled notebook paper.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer said it best, "One must completely abandon any attempt to make something of oneself...(instead) we throw ourselves completely into the arms of God." 

Somewhere along the way, I allowed some wrong thinking and old ways creep inside my heart, to try to make a name for myself. When honestly and truly, my prayer has been, and continues to be, that I want to know Him and make Him known. I'm grateful for the gut check from God because He can't use me and my wrong motives. And then in His awesomeness He leads me to 1 Corinthians 8:3:

"But if anyone loves God, he is known by God."

I love words. I especially love the Greek word for 'know' which is epiginosko which means to know exactly. I get to know God by my personal and direct relationship with Him. He knows everything about me. The good. The bad. The ugly. I don't have to perform for Him. I don't have to earn His love. He willingly gives Himself to me. And that makes me willing to give Him all of me in return.

It doesn't matter who knows me, as long I know Him and love Him because I know He knows me, loves me and proved it for me when He died so I could live. And my goal is to tell everyone, everywhere, "The King is wild for you!" Psalm 45:11 MSG

xo

One Word 2015

It all started with a simple text from me to my sister that went like this:

"What's the plan for 2015? Goals? Dreams?Let's talk!"

I knew I had a captive audience as she was traveling back home from Georgia. And I quickly received her response...and then she asked me:

"How about you?" 

I froze for a split second and then...

I quickly blurted out:

"Focus! I've been so distracted this year." (Insert 15,000 emojis) LOL

I began to wonder if maybe this was the Lord's way of telling me that would be my one word for 2015, but....

Last year, the Lord placed my one word on my heart in early November and here I was wondering on the last Saturday of 2014 what my word would be.

The Lord had been placing words like dream and faithful in my heart but I didn't have that familiar feeling of confirmation that I love. So,  I waited.

On Monday I got out my journal. I started copying down a few quotes I read on Jess Connolly's blog about dreaming and said this:

"Ask the Lord to be loud to you- and I dare you to believe that He might really desire for you to hear His voice, even more than you desire to hear His." 

Gulp.

So I prayed and asked Him to be loud to me. A few moments went by and I began searching the Scriptures. It's the place I go to for everything, really. And it was there, I saw a verse that pricked my heart.

"One who heard us was a woman named Lydia, from the city of Thyatira, a seller of purple goods, who was a worshiper of God. The Lord opened her heart to pay attention to what was said by Paul." Acts 16:14

At first it was kind of funny. I was like, "cool, You want me to pay attention."  But as I continued to read the Scripture line by line, the word jumped off the page to my teary blue eyes.

Heart. 

I cried. Thank you Lord, from the bottom of my heart for showing me this Scripture that I have glanced over countless times before now.

Easton's Bible Dictionary provides this definition: "The heart is the center not only of spiritual activity, but of all the operations of human life. The heart must be changed, regenerated before a man can willingly obey God." 

In the Greek language #2588 it is translated "kardia- the effective center of our being; desire-producer that makes us tick; our desire-decisions that establish who we really are."

Whoa.

I had asked the Lord to help me focus. I asked Him to be loud. I asked Him to give me a word for 2015 that would mean something to me.

And He did that. He did all of it. And as an added bonus, He showed me this Scripture as a way of solidifying what He placed inside my heart:

"My heart is fixed, O God, my heart is fixed:  I will sing and give praise." Psalm 57:7

Hear: to listen; give or pay attention to.
Ear: keen/sensitive perception of the differences of sounds
Art: the quality, production, expression, or realm, according to aesthetic principles, of what is beautiful

Heart.

I think Ann Voskamp said it best when she said: 

"All the heart really knows-is what it knows by heart."

And that's my prayer for this year. To know in my heart and believe all that The Lord has for me. And I want to know Him more by paying attention to His Word and fixing my heart on the Truth of His promises. Not just when things are going splendidly but when things are hard and I have to choke back tears. 

"For a fixed heart I must have a fixed determination, and not a mere fluctuating and soon broken intention. And I must have a continuous realization of my dependence upon God, and of God's sweet sufficiency, going with me all through the dusty day." Alexander MacLaren

Lord, for 2015, I want to know you by heart. Let it be so. Amen.

*PS: If you are still reading this wordy post, I wanted to say that I'll be participating in Beth Moore's Siesta Scripture Memory Team this year.  I will memorize two Scriptures per month for each month in 2015. I've done this a few years now and this is the first year the Lord gave me all 24 verses before the year began and they are all on...you guessed it...the heart because what the heart really nows, is what it knows by heart. Join me? Scripture Memory Team

A New Name

This morning, a friend wrote on Facebook that she read a quote somewhere that said, "Satan knows our name, but calls us by our sin. God knows our sin, but He calls us by our name."

When I finished reading that quote, this beautiful Scripture was in my heart and I responded to her with, “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine." Isaiah 43:1 ESV

I am His.

He knows my name.

I have struggled from time to time with knowing who I am in Christ. But, I love the faithfulness of God and how He never gives up on me. And He never allows me to just get by with things in life. 

Here's an example of His relentless love. He wants us to know that we are His and He is ours.  And He will do whatever it takes.

I pulled the book "Captivating" by John & Stasi Eldredge off my shelf last week and decided to work through the workbook since I only read the book last time. *If you haven't ever read this book, I highly recommend you buy it immediately.* 

Anyway, it's been a few years since I read it. By nature, I'm a note taker and I highlight and journal in my books all. the. time. I opened to the introduction page and I see a passage of Scripture and nothing was highlighted. Weird for me. I quickly opened my Bible to Isaiah 62:1-5 to see if maybe I highlighted it there. Nope. 

This is what I mean when God doesn't give up on us when He's trying to send a message. I read the passage a few times and I see this phrase: 

"you will be called by a new name"

Funny, it took me two years to see that. 

I quickly made a note card with Isaiah 62:2, 4 and posted it to my Instagram account with the caption: "When God speaks loudly: listen." 

I never even noticed those Scriptures before but its the message He's been wanting me to understand for some time now. He has given me a new name.  He's been telling me this over and over and yet I didn't hear Him. I was too busy trying to perform and produce and calling myself names like:

-not good enough

-failure

-bitter

-jealous

-lazy

-stubborn

-harsh

-world's okayest mom :)

We don't have to answer to those names. Because we are His, we respond to:

-my darling

-my delight 

-daughter

-beautiful

-chosen

-redeemed

All we have to do is come to Him and surrender.

And listen. 

He's been trying to get me to hear His voice and His Words of life to me. This is why it is so important to spend time with the Lord daily and wait for His still small voice. Read the Word out loud. Confess who He is to you and then listen as He shares His heart. And then journal what you hear Him respond to you. Cling to those promises. 

We serve a relational God who wants to be in fellowship with us. We can get so caught up in the temporal everyday nonsense but what He desires is to share with us all that He has. Take the time to get to know Him more.

You belong to the King of Kings.

His delight is in you.

You are beautiful to Him. 

One Word