When Nothing Is Hidden

“He reads the longings of our hearts; nothing can be hidden from Him; what we cannot tell to Him He perfectly understands.”-The Treasury of David

Secret keeper.

Heart knower.

Mind reader.

Heart searcher.

Word hearer.

Desire giver.

El Roi.

This is my God. 

When I read Psalm 38 on Monday, I asked the Lord to open my eyes to see what He wanted me to share. I’m extremely visual, a total right-brainer and so when verse 9 was the only one highlighted in a group of Scriptures, I took that as my cue. 

“Lord, all my desire is before You; and my sighing is not hidden from You.” Psalm 38:9

Have you ever kept something inside for so long knowing that if you didn’t release the words in the next second, your heart might explode? So you blurt out words, longings, desires, groans and suddenly waves of emotions surround you. That is confession. 

Don’t you feel better when you make a confession? I think of those feelings I had when I confessed Jesus to be The LORD of my life. Freedom. I confessed my sin to Him. Peace. I confessed that I couldn’t be, do or say anything without His hand upon me. Strength. 

I love that I don’t have to hide from God. Even if I wanted to. Even when I pretend He’s not watching me “right now.” He is. His eyes roam the earth looking for a heart that’s fully committed to him. 

The Lord is not unfamiliar with our ways. We can’t keep anything from you nor does He want us to. We are asked by our Holy Father to lay it all out: our secrets, fears, anxieties, sins. Yes, those are the things I’m aware of. So what happens to those things I am not prone to share because of fear?

What do I do with my longings and the desires of my heart?

Naturally, I hide them. I can’t seem to find the words to utter. I’m all, “O Lord, You know.” 

Yes, yes He does but I keep those words inside because I feel unworthy; almost like, ‘Did You give me this desire or am I making it up?’ And saying the desires of my heart out loud almost feels like when you say something you shouldn’t have and then can’t take back those words.

And then it hits me. It’s so obvious and simple that I’m almost embarrassed to admit it. 

It’s funny how my one word for 2014 is delight and it’s taken me almost three months to realize a Scripture that was placed in my heart last November. I recall now that in January I was going to write about why that word is so significant but I let fear keep those words locked up tight inside.

“Take delight in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4

The desires I have come from God; so when I remind myself of that, I’m not sure why I try to hide them. When all is before Him and nothing is hidden from Him, why do I still hide?

 I remind myself that my Heavenly Father wants me. He wants to hear the words that are in my heart, the ones that I am so afraid to share. Those are the words He wants to come out of my mouth.

Even though God already knows everything; He still wants me to use my words and tell Him. He knows my heartaches, shortcomings, wants, fears, and yes, my desires. We have to give Him the whole truth, nothing but the truth, so help us God.  

We can speak openly and freely, sharing the whole story with Him. He won’t expose us but will wrap us up in His arms of love and He will listen. John Gill writes, “It is His delight to hear.”  

So I confess to Him:

Lord, I want to be a writer. 

The thought of writing about Jesus and for Jesus makes my blissfully giddy. God wants to see our faces light up, our souls renewed and refreshed. He takes joy when we delight in Him. I remember that He created me. 

He created you.

What are the desires and longings of your heart? Will you let Him fulfill them? 

Don’t rob Jesus of the joy of giving you your hearts desire by keeping silent. I let fear rob me of writing on my blog for months. Remind yourself that nothing is hidden from Him. 

Say what you need to say.

“If God delights to fulfill our desires, let us not be slack in desiring.”-Spurgeon

There is Forgiveness

I like to fix things. When I’m thirsty I pour myself a glass of ice cold water. If one of my boys has a paper cut, I go to the medicine cabinet and get a bandaid. Simple. 

Those are easy fixes for the little things that arise in life. But what about the big things? Why is it that when I sin, my first reaction is to hide? When I first read today’s text, I wrote down in my journal, “is Jesus enough for you?” Is He? I have a problem; Jesus has the answer. Is that good enough?

Psalm 130:4 says, “But there is forgiveness with You, that You may be feared.” 

Sweet Sisters, don’t try to cover sin up. Confess it. Pour out your heart before the One who already knows everything and loves your fiercely. Come boldly to the throne of grace and receive mercy. Our God is gracious, loving and kind. He has what we need.

We need His forgiveness. I remember one time as a child I made a poor decision. Instead of telling my mother about it first hand, I hid in the sunroom reading my newest Scholastic book, trying to occupy my mind and “look busy”.  Then the phone rang and I knew instantly who it was. My mother knew the whole situation at that moment. I confessed. I made restitution and I received the forgiveness that was offered.*

We need forgiveness. He has forgiveness. It’s a beautiful thing. 

The forgiveness He offers isn’t just some random door prize. We have to repent and turn away from sin. He gives us His forgiveness so that we will fear Him. No, not a slavish fear. A holy fear. 

Pulpit Commentary says, “The true fear of God, which Scripture requires in us-a reverential fear-could not exist, unless we heed a confident hope in God’s mercy and willingness to forgive us our trespasses, if we turn to Him.” 

There is forgiveness for you. Yes, you. There is forgiveness for me. He delights to show you His mercy; not what you’ve done wrong. Cry to Him from the depths of your heart. He longs to hear from us because He loves us. 

We’ve all fallen short. We’ve all sinned. Instead of hiding and believing lies that He could never forgive you for (fill in the blank). Let’s run to Him and receive what He is offering.

The fear of The Lord makes us clean. It keeps our way pure. It keeps our motives in line with His Word. Spurgeon writes, “He could not be merciful until sin had marred His perfect handiwork.” 

I fear Him because I love Him and want to give Him my very best. He gave His very best to me.

Accept His pardon. Receive His forgiveness. “But be sure to fear the Lord and serve Him faithfully with all your heart; consider the great things He has done for you.” 1 Samuel 12:24

*I went to Smiling Hill Farm and fed the animals. I ran out of quarters and I could no longer feed them. Shortly after that, I went on a tour of the farm and I saw a pile of animal feed right in the middle of the barn.  Long story short, I filled up my pockets and continued feeding the animals. Yes, that would be stealing. It was my first and last time stealing. To God be the glory! LOL xo 

My Offering

I just finished reading Emily P. Freeman's latest book, "A Million Little Ways". It was a word in due season for me. In the last chapter she talked a lot about fear. I've been fearful for a while now and for a lot of different reasons. I have been using fear to keep me from doing things that I love (like writing on my blog) for fear of what others might say, think and feel.

On page 194 she writes, "Fear will be a threat whenever you set out to pursue a desire that means something to you." I have been pondering that statement for the better part of a week now. I know God has placed within me a desire to write and teach what He reveals to me in His Word. I say that not because I think I know it all (because I don't) but I believe that I have the heart of a teacher who always wants to share what I am learning. I hope that makes sense.

She shares in her book this quote from Michael Card that comes from his book "Scribbling in the Sand": "Artists in medieval times did not sign their work. It never occurred to them to do so... Their art was a gift meant to point away from themselves and toward the God who gave it. They were safely hidden in Christ, free from the tyranny of the self. They knew the great truth that they were nothing more and nothing less than children of a great King who has been entrusted with a sacred task: to win praise for their Lord. Knowing who we are in the hiddenness of humility. It is believing that the giftedness we may indeed possess is not of our own making, that the purpose of its being is not that we might gain attention or praise for ourselves, but that we might respond ingratitude with our best creative effort to win the praise for the One who first gave the gift." (pg. 202)

I wanted to use that quote on my blog because it reveals a picture of my heart. I don't want this blog to be about me. I want to use it as a platform to share my love for Jesus and why loving and serving Him wholeheartedly has given me a glimpse into what wholeness looks like. I will be completely whole when I see Him one day in Heaven. Amen. I want to write here and share the greatness of my God. I just stopped writing last fall out of fear and I'm wrong. Fear doesn't bring honor and glory to Jesus.

Emily writes, "Reject your fear of scarcity, of sharing and competition. Instead, delight us with what you have to offer. Offer yourself as you are, not as you wish you were. The more we see you, the more we'll see ourselves." (pg. 203)

So this. This blog is my offering to my tens of readers. It's not about the number of people that read or comment or just blog-stalk. This blog is about what Jesus means to me and I'm sorry that I let fear get in the way of that; fear of what I share being laughed at or taken out of context or for plain old competition (which destroys many things). Lord, help. This blog isn't a fancy designed blog that cost me lots of money because I just can't swing that right now. This is a free blog and I'm ok with that. I need to stop hiding.

When I read that SheReadsTruth www.shereadstruth.com is looking for guest writers each Friday through the Lent season, I knew this was the push I needed to just.do.it. I told the Lord that I would write for Him and about Him. I am looking forward to Friday when I publish my devotional on Psalm 130. I hope you will come back and see a picture of my heart for the Lord and His Word.

Offering myself as I am,
Melissa

How I Read Truth

I love the early morning quiet. I sit at my desk and gaze at the steam rising from my piping hot cup of English Breakfast tea. I turn on Pandora and listen to my favorite praise and worship music. I wait. Before I say what happens next, perhaps I should start back to October 29, 2012.

I had no daily rhythms. I just sort of went along with things, rather than starting my day at the best possible place: The Word. And the Lord knew I needed Him in those early morning hours. It's not easy to homeschool but I love it and so I do it because I have been called for such a time as this.

The morning of October 30, 2012 God saw fit for me to find @shereadstruth on Instagram. I was so smitten with all of the images of coffee mugs, open Bibles, journals and Scripture art. At that time, I believe 15,000+photos were listed under the #shereadstruth hashtag. I spent a while looking through them, liking them and getting quickly attached to this precious community of believers. (Lord, thank you for Your Divine appointment!)

It's funny. The first thing I did after going to the website was I chose Philippians as my first study. I had no idea that I could participate in a real live devotional until later on. :) Here is a picture of my very first journal page. Even as I am looking at this for the first time in almost a year, I love how God chose this to be my first Scripture. He is so precious to me.

Recently, a few people have asked me to share with them how I read She Reads Truth. First of all, it is so nice that people want to know how I study the Scriptures. I should offer a disclaimer, though. I am no Bible scholar. I just love my Jesus and want to know everything that I can about Him and more than that, I want what I learn to impact others and change my life. Jesus means everything to me.

I can't believe that I've been part of this beautiful community of women for almost an entire year. I hate that I missed out from the beginning but I trust in God's perfect timing.

As I began my quiet time this morning, I made notes of the steps that I take while studying the Word. Your way may not look like mine, and that's ok. As long as we are in the Scriptures, spending time with Him in sweet fellowship, learning what it means to find Christ and be found in Him, then we will be successful in our individual relationships with the Most High.

So without further ado, this in a nut shell, is what I do.

1. I like to start out with worship music. I didn't start out that way but was recently convicted, about starting my quiet time in worship; to enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise. I highly recommend it-whether you can sing or not. (Like me)! :)

2. Pray! I told a friend of mine that I sit down at my desk and say, "Speak Lord, for your servant is listening." I just want to hear from Him. I want Him to point me to what He wants me to know about Him. I love that in our Christ-following, we are ALWAYS learning....and that's a good thing.

3. I use the YouVersion Bible app on my ipad and I read the Scriptures in several translations. My favorites are: The Message, The Amplified Bible, New Living Translation, English Standard Version, and God's Word Translation.

4. I have a notebook that I use only for taking notes during my quiet time. I record my thoughts, the Scriptures, parts of the devotional content that spoke to me, etc. I don't post anything from this notebook on social media. I  thought it would be neat to show a few of my journals. I LOVE to write! Fun fact: I just started on my eighth notebook. :)

5. Most times a verse of Scripture will stop me and I will focus on that by writing it in my study notebook in whatever translations I like best. Then I go to biblehub.com or preceptaustin.org and type in the selected verse and read the Biblical commentaries to see if I can gather more information for better understanding. A lot of times, I will find a quote to share or a similar Scripture to add to my notes.

6. Next, I read the Devotional Content from shereadstruth.com. I write any quotes/phrases I want to remember, share or pray about. Tip: I buy all my notebooks at Staples during the one cent sale in August. Here's proof:

7. After, I read the Scriptures in my English Standard Version Study Bible. This Bible has been a life-saver. It has wonderful study notes and I highly recommend it if you are looking for a new Bible. Sometimes I will google different Scriptures and Biblical Commentaries for better understanding.

8. When the study portion is complete, I take out a piece of notebook paper and begin to pray and ask God for confirmation on what I am to share. Sometimes, it will be part of a page or an entire page. It could be a page full of Scriptures or a prayer or a heart-to-heart or a page of quotes or a mixture of it all. I write everything out and then I share it on: instagram.com/melissaemma1 or twitter.com/melissaemma7 or facebook.com/melissa.w.emma

9. Lastly, I take my study notebook and my prayer journal and I write out my prayers specifically as it relates to my notes. This helps me stay focused. I know that writing this much is not for everybody but this is just how I do it.

There it is! I know it seems like a long drawn out process but it's not. I adore it and I love going to the #shereadstruth hashtag and seeing what everyone is learning, too. I was thinking that I should blog each day about what I'm learning in Bible study because that is what I love. I God and His Word. I'm going to pray about doing that.

Thank you for taking the time to read my words. I hope this helps! Please feel free to contact me with any questions. It was honor to share this with you all.

Big Hugs!

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Careless Hearers

And He said,  "He who has ears to hear, let him hear." Mark 4:9, ESV

In 2011, I had the privilege of memorizing Mark 4:19. Here is The Message Version of this portion of Scripture:

"The  farmer plants the Word. Some people are like the seed that falls on the hardened soil of the road. No sooner do they hear the Word then Satan snatches away what has been planted in them. And some are like the seed that lands in the gravel. When they first hear the Word, they respond with great enthusiasm. But there is such shallow soil of character that when the emotions wear off and some difficulty arrives, there is nothing to show for it. The seed cast in the weeds represent the ones who hear the kingdom news but are overwhelmed with worries about all the things they have to do and all the things they want to get. The stress strangles what they heard, and nothing comes of it. But the seed planted in the good earth represents those who hear the word, embrace it, and produce a harvest beyond their wildest dreams." (4:14-20)

I like the New Living Translation of verse 19, too: "And these are which are sown among thorns: such as hear the Word, and the cares of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the lusts of other things, entering in, choke the Word, and it becomes unfruitful."

Stress strangles. Strangles what? The Word. To strangle means to suffocate, to prevent growth.  The precious Word of God is choked out and when that happens I am no longer bearing fruit.

I came across this Scripture the other day so I decided to study it again in hopes to gain fresh insight. I found Matthew Henry's Commentary of verse 19 that says, "Of the many that hear the Word of the Gospel, but few receive it, so as to bring forth fruit. The devil is very busy about {careless hearers}, as the fowls of the air go about the seed that lies above ground."

I tossed around the phrase "careless hearers" and began to ponder exactly what that means because it truly struck a chord with me the first time I read it. I asked God to show me the importance of hearing, and He revealed to me the following:

-He knows us and wants us to know and follow Him. (John 10:27)
-Our faith increases by hearing the Word of God. (Romans 10:17)
-We are blessed when we hear and keep the Word. (Luke 11:28)

But what is a careless hearer? Careless by definition is: 'not paying enough attention to what one does; not caring.' A synonym for careless is 'inattentive'.  Seth S. Horowitz, an Auditory Neuroscientist said, "The difference between hearing and listening is attention."

To hear, by definition is 'to give attention to; to listen.' The English Standard Version says of Mark 4:9, "Having ears to hear involves surrender of proud self-reliance and submission to God,"

In order to hear, to carefully hear, we have to die to self, and submit to God, so that these things can happen:

-God's Kingdom can be advanced on the earth. (John 15:8)
-A consistent message of a righteous life. (Matthew 7:20)
-To show the true nature of our hearts. (Luke 6:45)

The importance of hearing is so that we can abide in Him and bear much fruit. How do we bear fruit?  Fruit only comes after  the seeds have been firmly planted.  This means that we have to abide in Him (John 15:4,5). To abide means to stay, to remain, to dwell. Having a personal relationship with Jesus is all about abiding in Him and that involves trust, prayer, obedience and joy. Without Him, we have the inability to produce spiritual fruit.

Why is this important? 1 John 2:28, NLT "Now, dear children, live in Christ. Then, when He appears we will have confidence, and when He comes we won't turn from Him in shame." This means we can have confidence when He comes back for us. We have to maintain our relationship with Christ so that we don't stray from His truths....this is why hearing is so important. We want to be ready for Him when He returns.

"God expects and requires fruit from those who enjoy the Gospel. Let us look to The Lord, that by His new-creating grace our hearts may become good ground,, and that the good seed of the Word may produce in our lives those good words and works which are through Jesus Christ, to the praise and glory of God the Father."-Matthew Henry

You won't be disappointed when you fully give your time and attention to God. He is worth it all and worthy of our best.  As we spend time in His Word, we can become careful hearers, able to not only hear the Word but to do it as well.

Hear the Word. Believe the Word. Bear fruit. Bear much fruit.

For the glory of God the Father.

And when we truly hear the Word and embrace it, it will produce a harvest beyond our wildest dreams.

Thank you, Lord!

123 Days

Ahem. 123 days since my last blog post. Cue the excuses... I love to write and I have been...just not here. But, today is a new day and I'm back to share my heart here and do it for the glory of my precious Savior who is SO worth it! I thought it would be fun to share what's currently going on in my life at this very moment so we can get reconnected. I've missed writing on my blog so pray that I would be faithful with it. So without further ado....

*Thank you to Ashley @ www.perfectlypollack.blogspot.com for the cute template!